So originally, I thought it was all Malian culture for men to really chip in with childcare. But Jade's friend Amanda came to visit who lives in a far more conservative village, much further from the city and not on the main road. She said that Jade's village is really progressive. The men in her village never pick up babies or children. They never draw water, they never wash clothes. Those are all considered to be women's work. And the poor little girls. Around the age of 6 or 7, as boy and girls children begin differentiating in looks, their fathers pretty much stop talking to them. And they start having to train for their lives as women, meaning learning how to pound grain, wash clothes, cook, take care of babies, etc. These things train them to be a good wife.
So turns out, Moussa, Jade's host dad told me that even in Jade's village, their family is progressive. He taught the boys to do their own laundry and they draw their own water. He said he saw how much work the women do and how much easier the male life is and decided the work load was unequal. I draw my own water but sometimes when I'm out there, a boy will tell me to stop and come draw it for me. But I've never seen them do it for their sisters... I have seen them do it for their grandmother though.
Moussa is educated though. He even has women working in his pharmacy. I asked him how acceptable that was and he said that some men gave him crap about it and told him it was a bad decision because women won't be reliable workers cause they will want to go to baptisms and marriages and go cook for their husbands. Its crazy cause women are the hardest working people in Mali. But even his wife Adaam, though she has more freedom than most and her husband is sending her to school, she said if she ever left the house without telling Moussa, it would be grounds for divorce. And here, men keep the children.
Amanda told us some stories that made my blood boil. So there have been several teachers raping their students. These girls are like 11 and 12. Basically their lives are ruined. It will be super difficult for them to marry and their families are shamed. All the blame goes on the girls. They are seen as little seductresses. These families know its the teachers but there is an issue of class here. I asked Amanda why these families don't make the teachers take responsibility and claim the babies but she said these teachers come from Bamako, the city, and her village is mostly poor village farmers. So they don't want to have a confrontation with these city folk who are technically ¨better¨than them socially. It's sad that these girls are blamed for this. And police can't be called in cause it costs a lot of money to call police into a village (each village does not have police) and are also often corrupt. You have to pay a fee for them to come and often they just take your money and don't even solve your issue. Problems are often solved by the village elders.
Also in her school, a girl was recently first in her class. The teacher got up in front of the class and berated everyone for letting that happen. They were like wow boys, you need to do better, how could you let a girl beat you all out, a girllllll. Husbands can take up to four wives and they may beat them normally. This one man in her village beat his wife to death and nothing even happened to him. Poor Amanda, she has been here for two years and the ideology against women has taken a toll on her. She said she was thinking one day about how she would find a career back in the states and she thought to herself, can I really do that? As a woman? Maybe that's too hard for me as a woman. I hope Jade won' t start doubting her abilities and absorbing that aspect of the culture. It's scary to think that you can be that affected by the mentality here. Shudder. Thank the Lord God I was born a woman in the United States at this time.
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